Commanders Log Episode # 7 Live & Progress Report – 10/6/13


How many layers did you THINK my podcasts had?

How many layers did you THINK my podcasts had?

This is my second week of my first editing pass on the novel. If you had asked me two days ago about my progress it would have been poor to semi-average. Fortunately, I update the blog on Monday nights so things don’t look quite so bad.

And here are the metrics:

Page Count For The Week: 23.

A brilliant recovery, considering it was about 11 before last night. ~ 3.3 pages per day. Again below the goal of 4 a day, but at least the wheels haven’t fallen completely off. Plenty of time left for that still 🙂

Total Editing Page Count: 44.

Just edited the first part of a very moving scene. Still made tears well up in me, even though I’ve read it quite a few times. That either means its good, or I’m a bloody softie. Or as Grandpa Simpson would say ‘A little from Column A and a little from Column B’.

I also worked on a pretty fun scene with some great world building in it – the part I’ve enjoyed editing the most so far.

Updated Total Page Count: 236.

Yup, she is getting bigger, running at a mean 115,000 words, but that is as expected for the first edit. I’ll be trimming that back in subsequent edits.

Moving on then, to the progress chart for “EDITING – PHASE 2:”

 

44/ 236 (18.6%)

 

Repaired Faux-Pas of the Week:

No big howlers this week. Some small things. I cover a ship in camo netting then proceed to walk up the cargo bay ramp and drive back down out of it. A person’s callsign changes half way through a scene. A lot of enhancements this week. A new scene and improvement in the detailing of another.

Edititation of the Week

Time for another little game I like to call ‘Before And After’. A great discussion last week over the changes. Hopefully I can liven things up with this one.

Remember that the edited version is not the final polished version, and in the parts where new material has been added its still at draft quality, but on the whole it SHOULD be a better read than the draft. Is it actually? You get to decide.

Draft

Jordan appeared back at the cargo ramp aboard the jalopy. The boys called it the bug, a squat platform with a control stick, half a windscreen and six thick mud wheels. It was perfect for sneaking into town to get supplies if there was too much heat at the starport. Such as that very moment. The bug roared as it drove down the ramp, then he hit the sand and the big wheels dug in. Jordan swung around past Robert and he jumped on.

The Eastern Wastes covered half the continent, red sand and red rocks and a littering of mesas, but they had landed near the edge and it only took a couple of hours to reach the civilisation.

They passed the first rondavel in the early evening. It was made from the same red rock that was everywhere. A few shaggy dromedaries grazed nearby. The red star was slipping toward the horizon, making the distant sand look like liquid fire.

The sand turned to desert pavement with rondavels forming a road. There were lights in the distance, glowing brighter as the sun set. Technology quickly became evident, the rondavels giving way to crete buildings. Houses, shops, and then the starport. A huge expanse of landing platforms with a central tower. There were shops and buildings around the perimeter: traders, suppliers, ship services and towies. Jordan stopped outside one that was still open, a single light panel burning bright above the door.

“Shall we have a look?” asked Jordan.

Revision

Jordan appeared back at the cargo ramp aboard the jalopy. The boys called it the bug, a squat platform with a control stick, half a windscreen and six thick mud wheels. It was perfect for sneaking into town to get supplies if there was too much heat at the starport.

Such as at that very moment.

The bug roared as it drove down the ramp, then it hit the sand and the big wheels dug in. Jordan swung around past Robert and he jumped on.

The Wash covered half the continent, red sand, red rocks and a littering of mesas, but they had landed near the edge and it only took a couple of hours to reach civilisation.
They passed the first rondavel hut in the early evening. It was an upturned coffee cup of red rock half submerged below the ground, four steps down to the door. What appeared to be old turbine blades adorned the roof, scrubbed to a bright sheen by the desert dust, perhaps designed to reflect the sun’s heat away. Robert thought back to the Wayfarer. Nobody was turning his girl into a house.

The red star slipped toward the horizon, making the distant sand shimmer like liquid fire. A few shaggy dromedaries grazed on tufts of dull brown grass. Probably brought from Earth hundreds of years ago but he couldn’t be sure. They ignored the Bug as Robert and Jordan drove past.

As night approached the desert came to life, lizards emerging from hidden dens, the warble of insects. Something splattered against the windscreen. The sand turned to a natural desert pavement with two rows of rondavels forming a road. There were lights in the distance, growing brighter as the sun set, the horizon glowing a grainy orange.

Technology quickly became evident, the rondavels giving way to ‘crete buildings. Houses, shops, utilities, all of them looking perpetually stuck in quick sand, and then finally the starport, it’s tall synthetic construction glaringly out of place amongst the earthen buildings surrounding it. There were shops and buildings around the perimeter: traders, suppliers, ship services and towies. The flight control obelisk and a ship hangar towered behind them. Jordan stopped the bug outside one that was still open, a single light panel burning bright above the door.

“Shall we have a look?” asked Jordan.

The cover art for the Commander's Log podcast

The cover art for the Commander’s Log podcast

Commander’s Log Podcast

Episode # 7 is out now! Download it and have a listen. Unfortunately, mic issues continue, but don’t let that deter you. There is this noise that happens every now and again and I THINK it is the cable from the mic hitting my collar, but whatever it is, it is frustrating.

I’ve taken a slightly different approach to this podcast. I’ve gone for a more ‘conversational’ style. Its a bit more relaxed (on the editing) and I think a lot easier to listen to. I would dearly love feedback on this: Should I keep it this way or go back to the normal way of doing things?

The main picture for this post is a snapshot of my audio ‘session’ as I mix the podcast. There are a lot of bits going on there. Some of you have an interest in the audio aspects so I thought you might like to see what goes into making one of these podcasts.

This episode is actually a little early, but that does mean I will be having a little bit of a break before episode # 8 to catch up on my editing.

So in Episode 7 the aftermath of the climatic Reidquat battle of episode 6 is revealed. You’ll just have to listen to hear about the rest of it.

(Music courtesy of Stellardrone and Two Quiet Suns)

Newsletter

The third newsletter is out. Have you read it? If you think you should have received a copy and didn’t, let me know. If you read it I hope you enjoyed it. All positive feedback so far. I would love to hear your comments.

Writer’s Forum

In the end it always comes back to toilet humour.

How do people go to the toilet in Elite:Dangerous? In my story no one ever goes to the toilet. The hero is holding it in for a pretty long time, but I rationalise and say I treat a scene change (a # in the manuscript) the same as an ad break for the superbowl. Everyone takes five and attends to . . .whatever needs to be attended to. Then its back on the pitch and ready to slog it out some more.

Otherwise another quiet week. You would think people are writing or something . . .

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Cheers,

John

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